[As Dodger's tone changes he flinches fiddling more with his pajama shirt. He doesn't say anything about that since he knows that, but he still hasn't been told why.
He doesn't really want to go over to him but it was better than Dodger getting mad and hurting him again. He gets up, anxiety radiating off of him if Dodger tried something bad he'd stab him without hesitation this time.]
[There's a shiver that runs through him, a crawling under his skin at the sight of Jason creeping hesitantly over to him. Once again he's feeling the urge to just teleport out, and it takes some effort not to flicker invisible.]
I don't want to see it. [He reaches out with a shaky hand and cups Jason's face, running his thumb over Jason's cheek.] You're alright, though, yeah?
[The damage he did will just remind him of Theon and the grip that man has on his head. Remind him of the look of terror on Jason's face, and remind him of calling Ivar while panicking under the bathroom sink. He just wants things to be normal again.]
[He's a bit surprised about that, he figured that Dodger had some morbid curiosity about it. The hand raised and he had the urge to run away, but he's shocked. The rough hand touches him softly and it was comforting, he does relax leaning his face into it a bit more. He can't help it, it truly missed him.]
[It's a blatant lie, but it doesn't matter how he is. He's never given Jason a straight or truthful answer about how he's feeling in his life and he doesn't intend to start now.
He leans a bit closer and presses his forehead against Jason's.]
I missed you.
[He smells much more like alcohol than usual, up close.]
[He doesn't push it farther if Dodger doesn't want to talk about it, their heads press together but it's Dodger putting in most of the work with it, he's got alot of conflicted emotions right now.]
I missed you to.
[He takes a deep breath trying to figure out what he want's to say, this was stressful.]
But... I'm mad at you...
[He doesn't know what he wants to say, Dodger was being affectionate and kind right now, but how long would that last? at least he is mad and just not as right as rain after like after most of their arguments, Dodger fucked up bad and he needs to pay the consequences. ]
[He doesn't really sound mad... Dodger could understand him being mad, but he has trouble taking it seriously. Jason has never stayed mad at him for long, and this is already a record.]
I already got punched in the face by my next door neighbor, I figure I learned my lesson.
[There's a laugh here but it has no humor in it; it's really just to fill up the silence, and he gives Jason a slightly apologetic look after.]
[If anything he sounds mildly defeated. He's never stayed mad but the fact that he isn't forcing Dodger into a hug and properly sobbing was a good sign that he was pretty unhappy.
He doesn't return the laugh at all frowning a bit.]
I hope so, her name's Carol. She told me she was gonna punch ya real hard.
[He looks at him with hesitation, he wasn't sure if he believed that or not.]
You promise? how... do I know you arn't lying to make me feel better?
Trying is enough for me... was surprised she even wanted to help.
[He looks at him trying not to shrink away, but he gets colder without intention, he's been having a hard time controlling his powers recently, he's to much of a jumbled mess.]
I dunno... I just want to make sure I guess. Shit happens.
[He looks away after a moment. He figured Dodger wouldn't say it just to make him feel better, but there's a lingering nag of worry on the back of his mind. The bruise gave him some peace of mind at the very least.]
It was really scary, I don't... wanna feel that way or see you look like that again.
[He wasn't used to seeing Dodger look scared like that and it worried him.]
I can't forget about it. I wanna try to... but I can't stop thinking about it, it looks awful.
[He hated it and it made him feel more self-conscious than he already was down there. He does relax more at the kiss, he felt better at least the sad expression softening. The kiss left a lingering warm spot on his head. Dodger always knows how to make him feel better and that was Jason's downfall.]
I'm always chilly.
[He moves to gently grab onto Dodger's sleeves the warmth seeping through and he sighs.]
You're always so warm... sometimes I forget it can be dangerous.
[Dodger won't get away from this without doing something, but Jason just can't push him away, or scream. He's mad but Dodger made him feel good and he truly did love him. It was easy to take advantage of but he's trying his best not to just forgive him so easily.]
[He lets out another quiet laugh, and tips Jason's head up to press their lips together. His hands slip down around Jason's waist, pulling him closer.]
Relax, I'm not gonna hurt you. [His expression sobers a bit; he's said that a lot, lately, to people that he absolutely hurt.] You trust me, right?
[He doesn't kiss back for the first fraction of a second but he can't help himself leaning close to him. He tenses as Dodger's hand wanders but when it doesn't do anything bad he relaxes instantly.]
I know... I trust you.
[He wants to, and he does even if it's against his better judgment. He's just a bit skittish at the moment.]
Well, I don't. I just- look, we already covered this, I fucked up and I can't go back and fix it, so can we just... drop it?
[He lets go of Jason while he's speaking, mostly so that he can gesture while he speaks. But also because he's frustrated, and he knows better than to stay close when his temper could flare up his temperature.]
That doesn't tell me the reason why you fucked up, as soon as we started you stopped looking interested in me.
[Dodger seemed uninterested in him and then mutilated him, how could he not think about it? if it was something he did or what was going through Dodger's mind. He tried something new and all that happened was pain. He looked like he was about to cry.
As Dodger jestures, he takes a step back his heart racing.]
If you didn't wanna talk about it why are you here, I can't just forgive you for trying to burn my dick off.
[Trying to and almost succeeding. He's getting angrier and sadder at the same time.]
I wasn't trying to, it just- happened. I was just-
[There's a bit more heat than he'd like coming off of his hands, and he struggles to hold the fire back.]
I was thinking about shit and it- I just slipped. Look, why does it matter? You're still alive, aren't you? And you've still got a cock, so why is it such a big fucking deal?
Yeah I'm alive NO thanks to you! you fucking kicked me out It's a big fucking deal because it makes me feel that you don't even fuckin care! You just want me to sweep it under the rug and forget 'bout it, how can I forget when it's there forever!
[He's fuming. Dodger's just fucked up more after how nice it was going. He just wants his feelings validated.]
We didn't even cover anything, I want to forget it, I do... but it feels like you don't care that, That-
[His breath hitches, he was not going to cry, he's pissed and he just needs a second to gain any form of composure before something stupid happens or he just breaks down. ]
You know that already makes me hate myself, but you've just made it worse and it feels like it's my fault, but I didn't do anything.
[He takes another step back, a little bemused by Jason. His own temper can't keep up with the confusion of this blowing up this badly. He isn't sure that he and Jason had ever established a serious relationship, and here he is questioning if Dodger cares about him...
Dodger isn't even share if he cares about him. He certainly has the sense not to point it out.]
I needed to think, I needed- to get away, but you were in my space and I just- look, it was stupid, and I've been stupid, and I tried to fucking kill someone because I didn't know what to do about you, and it- look, I don't know what the fuck you want from me! I'm trying to apologize, how the fuck am I supposed to do that if you just keep bitching at me?
[Jason was getting pretty damn cold. He was starting to freeze over, The air around him deathly cold even for him, he flickers and there's ice on the ground, on his skin and a few tears frozen at the corner of his eyes. He's starting to panic, he's angry and sad and confused. There's to many emotions going on that he can handle at the moment.
Dodger blames him for ruining his apology and he tenses for a moment before he moves to give him a slap. A slap with his strength was pretty useless but he doesn't know how else to convey that Dodger's being a huge asshole.]
But you haven't said sorry once! how are you even trying to apologize? by telling me to get over it?
[He tenses up, when Jason slaps him, and for a moment every fiber of his body pushes for grabbing his wrist and burning it through to the bone. Instead he digs his nails into his palm hard enough to draw blood, and takes another step back from him. The cold barely affects him, his own skin starting to glow with heat even if he can keep the actual flames under the surface.]
I've been saying it, dumbass, I said I fucked up! You should be lucky I'm here at all, I didn't have to come back!
[Somewhere in there, he knows this isn't helping, but he can't help but be frustrated. He shouldn't have come here, he should have just left Jason to drown and moved on with his life, and why should he have to put more effort in than showing up and being kinder?]
[He regrets slapping him honestly, it just kinda happened. He is shivering from his own body temperature the heat radiating off of Dodger doesn't penetrate him at all. He flickers and takes a shuttering breath.]
Saying you fucked up isn't saying sorry.
[He's pissed, but he's losing the battle, the anger less in his voice and more despair.]
I missed you, but now you're... acting like I'm just an inconvenience and my feelings don't mean anything to you.
[He grabs onto himself in a semi comforting grip. This wasn't going well, they were both angry and stressed out. All Jason wanted was a proper apology, but now he's conflicted with the idea that it was his fault.]
You already make fun of me for not being a proper man because I can't handle... doing stuff with girls, and my size, and now you've made it worse. Feel's like some sick fucking joke.
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He doesn't really want to go over to him but it was better than Dodger getting mad and hurting him again. He gets up, anxiety radiating off of him if Dodger tried something bad he'd stab him without hesitation this time.]
It's...fine now. Carol took me to the doctors.
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I don't want to see it. [He reaches out with a shaky hand and cups Jason's face, running his thumb over Jason's cheek.] You're alright, though, yeah?
[The damage he did will just remind him of Theon and the grip that man has on his head. Remind him of the look of terror on Jason's face, and remind him of calling Ivar while panicking under the bathroom sink. He just wants things to be normal again.]
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I'm okay now... Are you okay?
[He also wanted things to be normal again to.]
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[It's a blatant lie, but it doesn't matter how he is. He's never given Jason a straight or truthful answer about how he's feeling in his life and he doesn't intend to start now.
He leans a bit closer and presses his forehead against Jason's.]
I missed you.
[He smells much more like alcohol than usual, up close.]
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I missed you to.
[He takes a deep breath trying to figure out what he want's to say, this was stressful.]
But... I'm mad at you...
[He doesn't know what he wants to say, Dodger was being affectionate and kind right now, but how long would that last? at least he is mad and just not as right as rain after like after most of their arguments, Dodger fucked up bad and he needs to pay the consequences. ]
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I already got punched in the face by my next door neighbor, I figure I learned my lesson.
[There's a laugh here but it has no humor in it; it's really just to fill up the silence, and he gives Jason a slightly apologetic look after.]
It won't happen again.
[He'll find new, exciting ways to fuck up.]
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He doesn't return the laugh at all frowning a bit.]
I hope so, her name's Carol. She told me she was gonna punch ya real hard.
[He looks at him with hesitation, he wasn't sure if he believed that or not.]
You promise? how... do I know you arn't lying to make me feel better?
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[It did hurt, and it did leave a bruise. But Dodger's a bit too hardy for an average human to do much damage.
The question gets under his skin, though, and he leans back to fix Jason with a more stern expression.]
Why would I lie?
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[He looks at him trying not to shrink away, but he gets colder without intention, he's been having a hard time controlling his powers recently, he's to much of a jumbled mess.]
I dunno... I just want to make sure I guess. Shit happens.
[He looks away after a moment. He figured Dodger wouldn't say it just to make him feel better, but there's a lingering nag of worry on the back of his mind. The bruise gave him some peace of mind at the very least.]
It was really scary, I don't... wanna feel that way or see you look like that again.
[He wasn't used to seeing Dodger look scared like that and it worried him.]
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[He hesitates briefly before pressing a kiss to Jason's forehead and just holding him there for a moment.]
You're chilly.
[It doesn't really bother him; he never gets particularly cold, but his body is heating up a bit to make up for it.]
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[He hated it and it made him feel more self-conscious than he already was down there. He does relax more at the kiss, he felt better at least the sad expression softening. The kiss left a lingering warm spot on his head. Dodger always knows how to make him feel better and that was Jason's downfall.]
I'm always chilly.
[He moves to gently grab onto Dodger's sleeves the warmth seeping through and he sighs.]
You're always so warm... sometimes I forget it can be dangerous.
[Dodger won't get away from this without doing something, but Jason just can't push him away, or scream. He's mad but Dodger made him feel good and he truly did love him. It was easy to take advantage of but he's trying his best not to just forgive him so easily.]
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Relax, I'm not gonna hurt you. [His expression sobers a bit; he's said that a lot, lately, to people that he absolutely hurt.] You trust me, right?
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I know... I trust you.
[He wants to, and he does even if it's against his better judgment. He's just a bit skittish at the moment.]
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What's up? You're acting.. tense.
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I dunno... I just.
[He lets out a small sigh.]
Why did you make me leave? It felt like you were throwing me away, like some toy you broke and was bored of.
[He hasn't gotten an apology or a reason why it happened, there are scenarios running through his head that he can't put to rest.]
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Do you really want to talk about that? I thought we were gonna forget it.
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[He'd rather forget about it and normally does, this is just an itch in the back of his brain that he can't get rid of.]
I never agreed to just forget it.
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[He lets go of Jason while he's speaking, mostly so that he can gesture while he speaks. But also because he's frustrated, and he knows better than to stay close when his temper could flare up his temperature.]
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[Dodger seemed uninterested in him and then mutilated him, how could he not think about it? if it was something he did or what was going through Dodger's mind. He tried something new and all that happened was pain. He looked like he was about to cry.
As Dodger jestures, he takes a step back his heart racing.]
If you didn't wanna talk about it why are you here, I can't just forgive you for trying to burn my dick off.
[Trying to and almost succeeding. He's getting angrier and sadder at the same time.]
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[There's a bit more heat than he'd like coming off of his hands, and he struggles to hold the fire back.]
I was thinking about shit and it- I just slipped. Look, why does it matter? You're still alive, aren't you? And you've still got a cock, so why is it such a big fucking deal?
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[He's fuming. Dodger's just fucked up more after how nice it was going. He just wants his feelings validated.]
We didn't even cover anything, I want to forget it, I do... but it feels like you don't care that, That-
[His breath hitches, he was not going to cry, he's pissed and he just needs a second to gain any form of composure before something stupid happens or he just breaks down. ]
You know that already makes me hate myself, but you've just made it worse and it feels like it's my fault, but I didn't do anything.
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Dodger isn't even share if he cares about him. He certainly has the sense not to point it out.]
I needed to think, I needed- to get away, but you were in my space and I just- look, it was stupid, and I've been stupid, and I tried to fucking kill someone because I didn't know what to do about you, and it- look, I don't know what the fuck you want from me! I'm trying to apologize, how the fuck am I supposed to do that if you just keep bitching at me?
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Dodger blames him for ruining his apology and he tenses for a moment before he moves to give him a slap. A slap with his strength was pretty useless but he doesn't know how else to convey that Dodger's being a huge asshole.]
But you haven't said sorry once! how are you even trying to apologize? by telling me to get over it?
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I've been saying it, dumbass, I said I fucked up! You should be lucky I'm here at all, I didn't have to come back!
[Somewhere in there, he knows this isn't helping, but he can't help but be frustrated. He shouldn't have come here, he should have just left Jason to drown and moved on with his life, and why should he have to put more effort in than showing up and being kinder?]
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Saying you fucked up isn't saying sorry.
[He's pissed, but he's losing the battle, the anger less in his voice and more despair.]
I missed you, but now you're... acting like I'm just an inconvenience and my feelings don't mean anything to you.
[He grabs onto himself in a semi comforting grip. This wasn't going well, they were both angry and stressed out. All Jason wanted was a proper apology, but now he's conflicted with the idea that it was his fault.]
You already make fun of me for not being a proper man because I can't handle... doing stuff with girls, and my size, and now you've made it worse. Feel's like some sick fucking joke.
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