[The answer made him feel a wave of disappointment but Dodger's body language was something he really didn't see.]
It's on the table, by the door.
[It was there, unharmed nice and folded... or well as nicely as Jason could fold it, a bit messy but there was a good effort put in, he knows how important it was to him.]
Is that... all you wanted?
[Is tone kinda sad, Dodger could have absolutely popped in and popped out with it multiple times, waiting days for it seemed a bit odd. ]
[He wouldn't have put it past Jason to burn it... but it does seem to be fine, and he slides it on after a careful inspection.]
You folded it wrong.
[That doesn't matter, at all, but Dodger still can't seem to bring himself to speak honestly. He hesitates again, reaching down idly to scratch at the wraps on his wrists.]
Look, I- I just wanted to make sure... that you weren't dead. My neighbor got real dramatic about it, so I was.. yeah.
[He's resorted to tugging at the hem of his shirt. He's not fully looking at Dodger, he was nervous. Both of them seem to be unsure what to do with this situation.]
You... didn't seem to care what happened when you... told me to leave.
[He was unsure how he felt, he's mad but painfully sad and that was kinda just written over his body language. He's quite conflicted at the moment.]
[As Dodger's tone changes he flinches fiddling more with his pajama shirt. He doesn't say anything about that since he knows that, but he still hasn't been told why.
He doesn't really want to go over to him but it was better than Dodger getting mad and hurting him again. He gets up, anxiety radiating off of him if Dodger tried something bad he'd stab him without hesitation this time.]
[There's a shiver that runs through him, a crawling under his skin at the sight of Jason creeping hesitantly over to him. Once again he's feeling the urge to just teleport out, and it takes some effort not to flicker invisible.]
I don't want to see it. [He reaches out with a shaky hand and cups Jason's face, running his thumb over Jason's cheek.] You're alright, though, yeah?
[The damage he did will just remind him of Theon and the grip that man has on his head. Remind him of the look of terror on Jason's face, and remind him of calling Ivar while panicking under the bathroom sink. He just wants things to be normal again.]
[He's a bit surprised about that, he figured that Dodger had some morbid curiosity about it. The hand raised and he had the urge to run away, but he's shocked. The rough hand touches him softly and it was comforting, he does relax leaning his face into it a bit more. He can't help it, it truly missed him.]
[It's a blatant lie, but it doesn't matter how he is. He's never given Jason a straight or truthful answer about how he's feeling in his life and he doesn't intend to start now.
He leans a bit closer and presses his forehead against Jason's.]
I missed you.
[He smells much more like alcohol than usual, up close.]
[He doesn't push it farther if Dodger doesn't want to talk about it, their heads press together but it's Dodger putting in most of the work with it, he's got alot of conflicted emotions right now.]
I missed you to.
[He takes a deep breath trying to figure out what he want's to say, this was stressful.]
But... I'm mad at you...
[He doesn't know what he wants to say, Dodger was being affectionate and kind right now, but how long would that last? at least he is mad and just not as right as rain after like after most of their arguments, Dodger fucked up bad and he needs to pay the consequences. ]
[He doesn't really sound mad... Dodger could understand him being mad, but he has trouble taking it seriously. Jason has never stayed mad at him for long, and this is already a record.]
I already got punched in the face by my next door neighbor, I figure I learned my lesson.
[There's a laugh here but it has no humor in it; it's really just to fill up the silence, and he gives Jason a slightly apologetic look after.]
[If anything he sounds mildly defeated. He's never stayed mad but the fact that he isn't forcing Dodger into a hug and properly sobbing was a good sign that he was pretty unhappy.
He doesn't return the laugh at all frowning a bit.]
I hope so, her name's Carol. She told me she was gonna punch ya real hard.
[He looks at him with hesitation, he wasn't sure if he believed that or not.]
You promise? how... do I know you arn't lying to make me feel better?
Trying is enough for me... was surprised she even wanted to help.
[He looks at him trying not to shrink away, but he gets colder without intention, he's been having a hard time controlling his powers recently, he's to much of a jumbled mess.]
I dunno... I just want to make sure I guess. Shit happens.
[He looks away after a moment. He figured Dodger wouldn't say it just to make him feel better, but there's a lingering nag of worry on the back of his mind. The bruise gave him some peace of mind at the very least.]
It was really scary, I don't... wanna feel that way or see you look like that again.
[He wasn't used to seeing Dodger look scared like that and it worried him.]
I can't forget about it. I wanna try to... but I can't stop thinking about it, it looks awful.
[He hated it and it made him feel more self-conscious than he already was down there. He does relax more at the kiss, he felt better at least the sad expression softening. The kiss left a lingering warm spot on his head. Dodger always knows how to make him feel better and that was Jason's downfall.]
I'm always chilly.
[He moves to gently grab onto Dodger's sleeves the warmth seeping through and he sighs.]
You're always so warm... sometimes I forget it can be dangerous.
[Dodger won't get away from this without doing something, but Jason just can't push him away, or scream. He's mad but Dodger made him feel good and he truly did love him. It was easy to take advantage of but he's trying his best not to just forgive him so easily.]
[He lets out another quiet laugh, and tips Jason's head up to press their lips together. His hands slip down around Jason's waist, pulling him closer.]
Relax, I'm not gonna hurt you. [His expression sobers a bit; he's said that a lot, lately, to people that he absolutely hurt.] You trust me, right?
[He doesn't kiss back for the first fraction of a second but he can't help himself leaning close to him. He tenses as Dodger's hand wanders but when it doesn't do anything bad he relaxes instantly.]
I know... I trust you.
[He wants to, and he does even if it's against his better judgment. He's just a bit skittish at the moment.]
Well, I don't. I just- look, we already covered this, I fucked up and I can't go back and fix it, so can we just... drop it?
[He lets go of Jason while he's speaking, mostly so that he can gesture while he speaks. But also because he's frustrated, and he knows better than to stay close when his temper could flare up his temperature.]
That doesn't tell me the reason why you fucked up, as soon as we started you stopped looking interested in me.
[Dodger seemed uninterested in him and then mutilated him, how could he not think about it? if it was something he did or what was going through Dodger's mind. He tried something new and all that happened was pain. He looked like he was about to cry.
As Dodger jestures, he takes a step back his heart racing.]
If you didn't wanna talk about it why are you here, I can't just forgive you for trying to burn my dick off.
[Trying to and almost succeeding. He's getting angrier and sadder at the same time.]
I wasn't trying to, it just- happened. I was just-
[There's a bit more heat than he'd like coming off of his hands, and he struggles to hold the fire back.]
I was thinking about shit and it- I just slipped. Look, why does it matter? You're still alive, aren't you? And you've still got a cock, so why is it such a big fucking deal?
Yeah I'm alive NO thanks to you! you fucking kicked me out It's a big fucking deal because it makes me feel that you don't even fuckin care! You just want me to sweep it under the rug and forget 'bout it, how can I forget when it's there forever!
[He's fuming. Dodger's just fucked up more after how nice it was going. He just wants his feelings validated.]
We didn't even cover anything, I want to forget it, I do... but it feels like you don't care that, That-
[His breath hitches, he was not going to cry, he's pissed and he just needs a second to gain any form of composure before something stupid happens or he just breaks down. ]
You know that already makes me hate myself, but you've just made it worse and it feels like it's my fault, but I didn't do anything.
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It's on the table, by the door.
[It was there, unharmed nice and folded... or well as nicely as Jason could fold it, a bit messy but there was a good effort put in, he knows how important it was to him.]
Is that... all you wanted?
[Is tone kinda sad, Dodger could have absolutely popped in and popped out with it multiple times, waiting days for it seemed a bit odd. ]
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You folded it wrong.
[That doesn't matter, at all, but Dodger still can't seem to bring himself to speak honestly. He hesitates again, reaching down idly to scratch at the wraps on his wrists.]
Look, I- I just wanted to make sure... that you weren't dead. My neighbor got real dramatic about it, so I was.. yeah.
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[He's resorted to tugging at the hem of his shirt. He's not fully looking at Dodger, he was nervous. Both of them seem to be unsure what to do with this situation.]
You... didn't seem to care what happened when you... told me to leave.
[He was unsure how he felt, he's mad but painfully sad and that was kinda just written over his body language. He's quite conflicted at the moment.]
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[His tone is snappy, but he digs his nails into the palm of his hand and tries to hold himself back. He ends up just curling his hands into fists.]
Just... get over here, let me check you over.
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He doesn't really want to go over to him but it was better than Dodger getting mad and hurting him again. He gets up, anxiety radiating off of him if Dodger tried something bad he'd stab him without hesitation this time.]
It's...fine now. Carol took me to the doctors.
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I don't want to see it. [He reaches out with a shaky hand and cups Jason's face, running his thumb over Jason's cheek.] You're alright, though, yeah?
[The damage he did will just remind him of Theon and the grip that man has on his head. Remind him of the look of terror on Jason's face, and remind him of calling Ivar while panicking under the bathroom sink. He just wants things to be normal again.]
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I'm okay now... Are you okay?
[He also wanted things to be normal again to.]
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[It's a blatant lie, but it doesn't matter how he is. He's never given Jason a straight or truthful answer about how he's feeling in his life and he doesn't intend to start now.
He leans a bit closer and presses his forehead against Jason's.]
I missed you.
[He smells much more like alcohol than usual, up close.]
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I missed you to.
[He takes a deep breath trying to figure out what he want's to say, this was stressful.]
But... I'm mad at you...
[He doesn't know what he wants to say, Dodger was being affectionate and kind right now, but how long would that last? at least he is mad and just not as right as rain after like after most of their arguments, Dodger fucked up bad and he needs to pay the consequences. ]
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I already got punched in the face by my next door neighbor, I figure I learned my lesson.
[There's a laugh here but it has no humor in it; it's really just to fill up the silence, and he gives Jason a slightly apologetic look after.]
It won't happen again.
[He'll find new, exciting ways to fuck up.]
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He doesn't return the laugh at all frowning a bit.]
I hope so, her name's Carol. She told me she was gonna punch ya real hard.
[He looks at him with hesitation, he wasn't sure if he believed that or not.]
You promise? how... do I know you arn't lying to make me feel better?
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[It did hurt, and it did leave a bruise. But Dodger's a bit too hardy for an average human to do much damage.
The question gets under his skin, though, and he leans back to fix Jason with a more stern expression.]
Why would I lie?
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[He looks at him trying not to shrink away, but he gets colder without intention, he's been having a hard time controlling his powers recently, he's to much of a jumbled mess.]
I dunno... I just want to make sure I guess. Shit happens.
[He looks away after a moment. He figured Dodger wouldn't say it just to make him feel better, but there's a lingering nag of worry on the back of his mind. The bruise gave him some peace of mind at the very least.]
It was really scary, I don't... wanna feel that way or see you look like that again.
[He wasn't used to seeing Dodger look scared like that and it worried him.]
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[He hesitates briefly before pressing a kiss to Jason's forehead and just holding him there for a moment.]
You're chilly.
[It doesn't really bother him; he never gets particularly cold, but his body is heating up a bit to make up for it.]
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[He hated it and it made him feel more self-conscious than he already was down there. He does relax more at the kiss, he felt better at least the sad expression softening. The kiss left a lingering warm spot on his head. Dodger always knows how to make him feel better and that was Jason's downfall.]
I'm always chilly.
[He moves to gently grab onto Dodger's sleeves the warmth seeping through and he sighs.]
You're always so warm... sometimes I forget it can be dangerous.
[Dodger won't get away from this without doing something, but Jason just can't push him away, or scream. He's mad but Dodger made him feel good and he truly did love him. It was easy to take advantage of but he's trying his best not to just forgive him so easily.]
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Relax, I'm not gonna hurt you. [His expression sobers a bit; he's said that a lot, lately, to people that he absolutely hurt.] You trust me, right?
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I know... I trust you.
[He wants to, and he does even if it's against his better judgment. He's just a bit skittish at the moment.]
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What's up? You're acting.. tense.
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I dunno... I just.
[He lets out a small sigh.]
Why did you make me leave? It felt like you were throwing me away, like some toy you broke and was bored of.
[He hasn't gotten an apology or a reason why it happened, there are scenarios running through his head that he can't put to rest.]
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Do you really want to talk about that? I thought we were gonna forget it.
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[He'd rather forget about it and normally does, this is just an itch in the back of his brain that he can't get rid of.]
I never agreed to just forget it.
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[He lets go of Jason while he's speaking, mostly so that he can gesture while he speaks. But also because he's frustrated, and he knows better than to stay close when his temper could flare up his temperature.]
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[Dodger seemed uninterested in him and then mutilated him, how could he not think about it? if it was something he did or what was going through Dodger's mind. He tried something new and all that happened was pain. He looked like he was about to cry.
As Dodger jestures, he takes a step back his heart racing.]
If you didn't wanna talk about it why are you here, I can't just forgive you for trying to burn my dick off.
[Trying to and almost succeeding. He's getting angrier and sadder at the same time.]
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[There's a bit more heat than he'd like coming off of his hands, and he struggles to hold the fire back.]
I was thinking about shit and it- I just slipped. Look, why does it matter? You're still alive, aren't you? And you've still got a cock, so why is it such a big fucking deal?
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[He's fuming. Dodger's just fucked up more after how nice it was going. He just wants his feelings validated.]
We didn't even cover anything, I want to forget it, I do... but it feels like you don't care that, That-
[His breath hitches, he was not going to cry, he's pissed and he just needs a second to gain any form of composure before something stupid happens or he just breaks down. ]
You know that already makes me hate myself, but you've just made it worse and it feels like it's my fault, but I didn't do anything.
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